![]() The result being, 8 inches were bitten off my horse-cock by the underfed beast. So it never occurred to me, before inserting my horse-cock into Ashlee Simpson' vagina backstage at this year' Golden Globes, to ask whether she'd remembered to remove her wolverine. Now, as a humble memoirist, unversed in the ways of glamorous musicians, I was unaware of this fact. This fad was started by Fiona Apple in the early 1930s, but these days a list of Grammy winners for best female vocalist is also a list of women with wolverines in their vaginas. It' well-known among music industry insiders that the majority of female recording artists keep a full-grown wolverine inside their vaginas at all times. Unfortunately, three events have happened recently that force me to approach these once baseless claims with more delicacy. I would've simply unzipped my fly and dropped my 27-inch horse-cock onto the shoes of my accuser. Until six months ago, I wouldn't have even dignified this spurious claim with a verbal response. The accusation is this - that I do not in fact have a 27-inch horse-cock. It' perhaps the most serious one because it challenges the foundation on which my entire life is built. History and the 43 individual lawsuits I'm currently facing.īut there is one truly vile accusation that I simply can't ignore by burying my head in a pillow stuffed with mescaline. Let me just say this in my defense - I guess I remember things differently. ![]() ![]() The New York Times has published extensive refutations of 322 of the 325 pages of Horse-Cock, citing hundreds of eyewitnesses who vehemently disagree with my interpretation of the events described. Condemning it isn't just attacking my writing - it' attacking my life itself. Horse-Cock is a memoir, the true story of my life. In recent months, some particularly vicious critics have challenged the truth of my best-selling memoir, Horse-Cock: A Life In 27 Inches. Forward to the Revised Second Edition of Horse-Cock: A Life In 27 Inches
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